LOVE IT!

I love adventure. Everything about it. Knowing that you on this road, going somewhere, but you have no idea what your next stop is going to be, or what you're going to do!! It's like you're just riding this wave... and you just take it as it comes! Take the turns as they come... and just enjoy the view!! LOVE IT! I mean life is an adventure in itself... but right now im in this wonderful place with the Lord where he's filling my innards with this joy and giddiness and freakin excitement because i have no idea what is going to happen... but i know that the Lord delights in me and he has wonderful, rad, a-freakin-mazing things planned for me! So this summer... i have no idea where i'll be!! And i think this is one of the few times, actually i think there was only one other time, when i didn't have a major, that i was stoked about not having a plan. Usually it's in these times that im scrounging around to get my act together, to make things come together, to make a plan that i'd stick to.  Oh... but not this time!! I couldn't be more child-like... knowing that my Dad has a wonderful adventure ahead of me and i'm just waiting for him to take me there! My Grandpa used to play this game with us when we would travel places with him... we'd be getting antsy in the back seat... and he'd be like, "Hey guys... see that over there..." then we yell, "YEA... is that it!?!?!" and he'd respond, "Nope!! It's better!"... that's where i am! I thought i was going to Hume... i was like... is that it... NOPE. IT'S BETTER. Now i've asked him what about Hollywood, or what about Colorado... or what about.... and he's gonna answer me! And i know it's going to be freakin' awesome!! Now i just sit back and let him drive... checkin out his awesomeness along the way! Oh... my prayer has been that the Lord would pursue me an show me that i'm his beloved... and he went straight to me adventurous side... LOVE IT!!  Boys... if you're reading this... know that i love adventure and no one does it better than my Dad... but you can try if you want! :)

Disciple and Dependence

So... i've been learning a lot lately. Last week was Mission Conference and i went into that time praying that God would speak to me, and that i would hear and do the Word. Though totally side note to the main message, one speaker said: "If you don't awake to praise the Lord, the rest of creation will." That hit me hard. I mean... all of creation awakes at the light of dawn to bless him and reflect back to Him his glory. While i lay unconscious in my bed hung over with slumber and exhaustion, the rest of creation awakens to praise Him. God created me to bring him glory... above any other creation... i should be first to wake and praise Him.
"Lord, i desire to awake to bless you before all other creation does." For He is worthy of my morning, my first thoughts, my first devotions, my first praises.
I was walking around the track on morning, thanking Him for such a wonderful day, for giving my breath and allowing me another day. Then the Lord asked me to depend on him. What? For anyone who knows me... dependence isn't my strongest characteristic.
I'm really good at being independent. It's probably my pride that helps me do it so well... but i'm good at making things work... i've learning that making thing simply "work" doesn't mean they flourish. The Lord asked me to depend on him... for everything. This dependence required me to hand everything over to him. Everything. My mornings, my body, my desires, my hopes, my fears, my time, my money, my future... everything.
Dependence and discipline are new to me. But i desire to be used by God. That means waking early to be with him to declare his goodness in my life... even if i'm tired. That means treating my body as the temple of the Holy Spirit... taking care of it, so that God could use me however he wishes. That means presenting all my desires before the Lord, and having him prune them. That means spending my money as Christ would have me spend it. Filling my mind with the precious Word of God, and taking every thought captive...that my mind would be pleasing before God.
I don't want to be independent anymore. I desire to be completely dependent upon God... and that starts with reversing some pattens in my life. I was reading Isaiah this morning and it said... that God awaits to show mercy. For those who look to him... he is merciful. For that i am so thankful... that he would choose to refine me instead of cast me away into the fire.

Commons

So... maybe you haven't experienced this, but i doubt that.
So you know those regular places you sit... you know to study, or to read, or to do whatever the heck you do regularly? Well... i have one of those. Commonly called Commons. Just a little coffee shop on campus... nothing special. Just some comfy floral chairs and limited electrical plugs for my computer... but you know it does the trick. I'm in there almost everyday... studying or wasting time between my classes, since walking home isn't worth it. Well... i see the same few people every time i go. I haven't figured out if we have similar schedules or whether we're just there all the time... so it would only make sense that we would see each other regularly. But the funny part of this story is... i don't know their names. I mean.... sometimes i eavesdrop on their conversations... even chuckle at their jokes... but i mean... i kinda wish i knew them. If i did... we could sit and waste time together. Well... to those unnamed, familiar faces... let's be friends.

Saturday morning, 5:00 am early morning, i was down on skid row. Setting up for Biola's Steps from Hope event. We had close to 2500 pairs of shoes, and food for 5000 people... and all the inflatable, sugary, entertaining, excitement a kid could hope for. The event was quite the production. We closed down San Pedro between 5th and 6th for an entire afternoon and opened it to the people of LA, offering them food, shoes, and most importantly the hope of Christ. I was blessed to be able to walk about and talk to people during the event. It was then that i met two women, who challenged me. The first was Tracy. As i was sitting talking to a women about her children and the struggle to get a bed in the mission, i noticed Tracy who was wearing a Union Rescue Mission jacket. I stopped her to ask her how one would go about getting a bed. I soon was engaged in a conversation that was beautifully challenging. As the conversation went on... i was describing to her my tension. A tension between desiring to end homeless, but feeling that all the efforts i'm apart of only fulfill a temporary need. Proving a lunch, and pair of shoes may bless someone for a day, or a week, or even a month, but what is that doing to help them in the long run? A warm bed in a shelter may comfort them from the chills of the night, or the dangers of the street, but how is that helping them in the long run? I asked her... what needs to be done to get people off the streets for good? She told me discipleship. What? Yes, she said... the families of the church need to be willing to take in the homeless, provide them a place to live, the opportunity for job placement, and the training up in the Lord necessary found strongly in the fellowship of believers. Just like the church should act. If i am going to disciple the younger generation to grow up to to be Godly men and women, i should be willing to do the same for the homeless people who would have no other chance otherwise. What a thought! If the church acted as it was intended to... to love and serve and commit to people the way Christ did... it would help heal many of our world's problems. 

The second lady i talked to was Wanda. Wanda was sweet. A beautiful women who desperately loved her children. He daughters were taken away from her because of her  drug addiction. Wanda needed someone to talk to . Someone to listen and show concern for her. Can you imagine living a life fending for yourself... all the time. I cannot imagine the loneliness she must feel. She begged me to pray for her, and for her daughters... that  she would get to see them, and that Satan would be far from her in her battle to remain clean. She needed more than lunch, or new shoes... she needed to know someone cared... something eternal. 

So now im stuck. Though my time on skid row was beautiful... as like  every time I'm down there. I know that the greatest thing the people down there need is the good grace of Jesus Christ and the hope of salvation that he offers... but i also know that they desperately need food, and clothes, and shoes, and homes, jobs, medical attention,  counseling, school, protection, ohh... and so much more. How does the church tackle such a task? How do we heal the wounds of these people, not simply provide temporary relief?

It sickens me that i live in the greatest, wealthiest city in the nation, with the greatest and most destitute homeless population in the nation. It sickens me that children are being born and raised in back allies where they are forced to grow up in world that most adults wouldn't even dare to venture. Something horribly wrong is going on... but how do i go about being the change i desire? It seems to big. At least for me that is. Nothing is too big for my LORD. You know the same one who raised men from the dead. Calmed the sea with his words. You know... the Creator and Sustainer of the universe?

 I want a movement... what if the local church committed to ending homelessness. What if Skid Row was abolished? It's a huge task... but i fully believe that God blesses our meager attempts to do something big... because it's when we fail to make ends meet, or fail all together that he gets to intervene and show up powerfully... for it's then that his glory is manifested. 

Alright Lord... whatever you want... count me in. I'm willing. It's huge... but is any generation has the means to make this happen... we do. I can't be settle knowing that as i go to sleep in my bed tonight... families are settling into their weathered boxes... 

Oh ResLife

This morning i found out that i am going to be a Resident Coordinator in Thompson hall at Biola!! Who would have thought? The small desire of my heart from years ago, the one i pushed away because i never thought i could have it... is here. It's real... and i am so excited! I'm excited first to be back on campus. Oh... how i've missed campus life! And secondly... im excited to be back in a place surrounded by women who i can pour my life into. Oh... the position of RA awakened the parts of my heart that love to be with women, to share life with them, to guide and encourage them, and to have fun doing the crazy things college allows! So this next year... i'm back! Oh, that God would choose me to serve my community in such a way!! Such a privilege...and im so excited! I am going to miss my kitchen... and my living room. But we'll work that out!! :)

Yay for ResLife!

Lord

I was struck this weekend with the idea of God's Lordship over my life. I don't doubt that it's the sustenance by which i have breath and life and being, but i wonder if i attribute, to the degree He's due, all of that to Him. As this Passion weekend crept up on me, i found myself assigned to write a creed on the character of God. Who exactly is the God I serve? What is his character? So I sat in a coffee shop for hours on end mending and perfecting my condensed, concise, comprehensive, yet inexhaustible description of the God i serve; scared that i would omit something crucial, and that if an unbeliever read my statement they would get a picture of a God... maybe of the one i serve, but not the one of the Bible. I didn't want to put him in a box. I wanted his glory, a beautiful manifestation of his character, to shine through my creed. But what i painfully omitted was his Lordship. That his is ruler of everything, every detail, and has complete control. Not that i intentionally forgot, but it wasn't something on the forefront of my mind. So i asked myself, how could you forget something so crucial, so essential to the character of God. My answer has to be that maybe i'm not accepting it in my life. As much as i agree with it as i read in Grudem or when I'm in discussion, unless it is actively worked out in my life, it is meaningless to me. So as i sat in the Good Friday service, and even in chapel on wednesday, i was reminded that my Lord took on human flesh, and it was my sin that drove him to the cross. It was my pride, my lust, my envy, my hate, my jealousy, ill intentions, lies, idols, my self-everything....that spat upon his face, that mocked his Royalty, that beat him blue, that nailed him to a tree. How could my Lord die for me? Why? My masks temporarily hide my self-righteousness, but i am dirty and unworthy. Why me? But as i sat there taking all of this in... i realized that the Lordship of Christ wasn't lost on that Good Friday, but rather it was in perfect sync. Though it seemed as if he were defeated, it was all a part of his divine plan. He was awaiting Sunday. Sunday is where hope is found... true hope. Hope that the Lordship of Christ means what he says it does. That His promises are true. His Word is true. What He tells me is trustworthy. That his is orchestrating every detail to perfection. His perfect Lordship over humanity and creation... even in the small workings of my life are true and good. Whether i choose to acknowledge it or not. God is working out the details of my life... whether i choose to accept him as Lord over them is a choice i have to make. Christ raised from the dead. He rose victoriously to defeat the sting of death and reigns as Lord. He is all powerful, all-mighty, all knowing, and all good... so why wouldn't i desire his Lordship? Fear. Fear that even though he's provided everything, that he'll miss the minor details. But today... Sunday... i was joyously reminded that the tomb was empty. He did exactly what he said he was going to do to the utmost perfection. His plan, though it seemed thwarted, was left unchanged. The empty tomb has relinquished all fear. Christ is risen. He is alive. Defeated the sting of death and the fear of abandon. He is Lord. He is in control... of creation... and the small details of my life. Though i question him at times... proclaiming the Lordship of Christ over my life means acknowledging that without him i am nothing and that He provides the clarity, and guidance, and provision that i need. He is Lord...

Maybe Ill Write a Book

I think i want to write a book. I'm not sure about what yet... but ill be sitting in class or chapel, or driving down the road, or out an about running... random things like that... and i'll have sudden ideas of things to write about. Things about God, suffering, beauty, peace, joy, sin, love... and how those things play out in the rawness of life-- every moment of it.
Not that i have time to write a book... but maybe ill start a journal with all my ideas...
Well... small thought... it's late!