Crooks and Crannies

"The only way we can be of use to God is to let Him take us through the crooks and crannies of our own character."

"We have to get ride of the idea that we understand ourselves, it is the last conceit to go. The only One Who understands us is God. The greatest curse in spiritual life is conceit. If we have ever had a glimpse of what we are like in the sight of God, we shall never say-- "Oh i am so unworthy," because we shall know we are, beyond the possibility of stating it. As long as we are not quite sure that we are unworthy, God will keep narrowing us in until he gets us alone. Wherever there is any element of pride or of conceit Jesus cannot expound a thing. he will take us through the disappointment of a wounded pride of intellect, through disappointment of heart. He will reveal inordinate affections-- things over which we never though he would have to get us alone. We listen to many things in classes, but they are not an exposition to us yet. They will be when God gets us alone over them."

Ouch. That will shave off a chunk of pride. It's in those moments of "clarity" when i start to see myself as i really am, that the Lord steps in and shows me otherwise. Often compliments a good dose of disappointment.
He, above anyone, knows me. Intimately and perfectly. In breaking down my pride, and showing me who i am in the light of HIS glory, i am left alone. Alone before my creator and sustainer. That's where the fun begins. Once he's stripped me of comfort, and the false sense of knowing who i am, and the comfort i've found in that, he is gentle and gracious to show me the soot and cobwebs hidden between the neatly stacked idols and "inordinate affections" i've masterfully arranged. I thought i had dealt with this already. A few times before i'm sure. My pride. I thought i killed this one. Or at least masked it well enough to pass for something less repulsive. Nope. He's found it. Well maybe revealed it is a better description... it's not like i can hide it from Him anyway.
Who am i that he would first even care to show me, gently, the ways of my pride, and two, even desire me to do his work knowing such. Christ knows me. Alone before him. Stripped bare, he knows me. The raw and real... the beautiful parts of my character and especially the offensive part of it. It amazes me that knowing all that, he loves me and has a plan for me. To use me as a tool in the advancement of His kingdom. It's amazing. It leads me to the foot of the Cross. Where my King died for my pride. Where he took on His Father's wrath, which my pride caused, in rightful my place.
It's too amazing for words.

It's Happenin'.

Life that is.
I was having some quiet time yesterday and i realized just how much is going on right now! Truly. Big, life changing things are going down all around me. Friends are getting married, engaged, prego. Sister's having a baby. 21 unit SPring Semester and graduation looms. Summer weddings are creeping up... summer plans are forming. Job applications being sent out. Man... so much is going on!!
Today i mailed off my first job application. Yikes... talk about reality setting in! It's for the Dream Foundation... hoping that one day i could say i "Facilitate Dreams". How awesome would that be!! We'll see where that one takes me... possibly to Santa Barbara! That would be a nicer change in location!
But before that... im sort of planning my summer. So check it out... May 23rd i graduate. Yeah... i'm not going to get into that one. But then June 5th my friend is getting married. In Montana. So im headed out there for that! Which is SUPER exciting. So here's my somewhat plan... buy a jeep. Road-trip to Montana( hopefully with someone... no fun by myself). Celebrate and enjoy time with my sista. And then when she peaces out to enjoy honeymoon bliss... i'll head up to Banff. Rocky mountain/Canadian, single life bliss! : ) Stay there for a few days and then make my way back to california... to start prepin' for Sista Wedding Numero Dos. Where i'll start all over again... minus the road trip and Canadian Bliss.
Then... i guess if my jeep makes it... ill drive it somewhere awesome and climb a mountain or something.

Schmaybe?

I graduate in 5 months. I know, i have time... but fancy me for just a moment.
So i graduate May 23rd. Friends are getting married shortly thereafter... so im around until then. But then what?
Needless to say, I'm already looking at things to do... the options are seriously limitless! Exciting in one sense, in that there are so many options to choose from and so many things that i would LOVE to do. Scary in another sense, in that here are so many options to choose from and so many things that i would LOVE to do. How do i choose?!?
So... as of now, i really want to travel and write. It's a pretty new passion, as it seems to be changing by the week, but how amazing would that be! I've found a few awesome opportunities, blogs and online magazines looking for freelance writers and paid "bloggers". But i found the internship of a life time... check this out. A 3 month all expenses paid, world traveling internship... where i would document and report on my travels through blogs/print/photography and video feeds!! How amazing is that! Friends. Friends... it's the perfect internship. Writing experience. FREE travel. And a summer of a life time...
ahh... sometimes i think i'm too ambitious! But hey... only one life right!! Why not go big or go home... i mean home would be nice too! : )

http://www.worldtravelerintern.com/index.php

$13,000 given to the needy

An anonymous donor known as the Eldorado Elf continued a holiday tradition by handing out $10 bills to people at the Midnight Mission in Los Angeles. Each member in a family of seven got $10, including an infant in a stroller. The shelter estimates that $13,000 was distributed to the homeless and poor on skid row.
December 23, 2008

So amazing, yea?!? No commentary needed for this one...

Say

Take all of your wasted honor
Every little past frustration
Take all your so called problems
Better put 'em in quotations

Say what you need to say
Say what you need to say...

Walking like a one man army
Fighting with the shadows in your head
Living out the same old moment
Knowing you'd be better off instead

If you could only
Say what you need to say
Say what you need to say...

Have no fear
For giving in
Have no fear
For giving over
You better know that in the end
It's better to say too much
Then never to say what you need to say again

Even if your hands are shaking
And your faith is broken
Even as the eyes are closing
Do it with a heart wide open... wide...

Say what you need to say
Say what you need to
Say what you need to
Say what you need to say...

So tonight i was looking on Facebook...

Not the best way to start off a blog right... i practically shot my credibility in the foot. Yea, Facebook is the greatest source of inspiration... but tonight i think it worked.
So some of you might have heard, today we voted for a new president. You know, of the United States. Pretty big deal... particularly this term considering the state of our country.
Well some others of you might have heard that Obama won. Sorry if that took some of you by surprise. So here's the deal. I understand that some people felt strongly for or against a particular person, that's understandable. What i don't really understand is what i am seeing on facebook.
No, and it's not the free Ben & Jerry's ice cream advertisement for voting. But rather, the nasty, hot-tempered, demeaning "status updates" people are writing. I mean your status update basically unfolds the deep of your heart... (please!!)in a catchy, somewhat ambigious, clever one liner, but really, people?? Really? Here are some of the posts i saw tonight...

"cool guys, gay marriage and abortion. i'm moving to africa."

"is sad that obama is going to be our next president. I truly beleive those who voted for him will soon be regretting their decision."

"welcome to Amerika: the land of murdered babies, gay marriage, government-run health-not-care, redistribution of wealth, and a terrorist president."

YIE!! I am a little confused where people are getting this. If we trust that the Lord appoints all leadership, and gives authority to the rulers over us... then we should trust, even if we don't understand, that God is still in control. And more importantly, what is the witness are we giving to the unbelieving world, WHO ARE WATCHING US, when our "statuses" are so demeaning and disrespectful. People already think Christians are crazy... do you honestly think that you're discriminating "status update" is 1) going to change anything 2) going to change someone's heart 3) make people desire to hear you out? No it will only: 1) make you look like ignorant 2) tick people off 3) it will turn the very people who you need to reach with the good news of Jesus Christ and HIS kingdom against you and everything the church stands for.
Weigh the outcomes people. It may just be a "status change" but people are watching...
people are watching.

So much to write about....

so little time to write.
but... soon, i promose. : )