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I went for a drive this morning. A little frustrated that I woke up at 6:30am, on my day off, to get all ready, and drive 20 minutes across town for a meeting that lasted only 7 minutes. But, after a minute of sulking and asking myself: “how was that even worth it?” I made a pit stop at Starbucks for a cup o’ jo and decided to head for the hills. For weeks I’ve been looking for and wanting to explore this desert wonderland I’ve heard of... with trails around the Apply Valley rocks and such things. Well, I have no idea what road it’s on, but I decided to take a little drive in an attempt to find it. And plus, it wasn’t barely 8:30 am, my family was still asleep, and it was a beautiful morning!
If you know me, you know that I like to take drives... especially when there are new things to look at. So, while I’m guilty of wasting gas and doing my part to contribute to the global warming problem, I am content to say it was well worth it!
During my drive, my mind quickly wandered to God. (Sadly not as common an occurrence as I’d hope for this late in my Christian walk, but I’m still a work in progress.) Anyway, I started to think about the size of God. The literal size of God. And while I briefly remember Tozer blasting the person who dare put limits on a Holy God... I continued to entertain the thoughts for a while.
So, I’m a pretty visual person. That’s why I loved geometry and couldn’t master calculus for the life of me... but I digress. I understand things when I can see them. (Which doesn’t lend aid with the whole faith factor, but we’ll save that for another entry!) But as I started to think, two images came to my mind.
The first of a little girl, in a full dress. Her head back, hair flowing, smile full, eyes glowing. Her little arms stretched, hands open, reaching upward, grasping for some childish delight. Not Turkish—childish. Maybe her dad. Maybe something in the sky. Spinning around, just for the sake of getting all dizzy, falling down, laughing, standing back up, and doing it again, just for the fun of it.
The other image I had is of a man. Primp and proper. Dressed to the nines. Pleated, cuffed and belted. Greased and combed, tied together with a grin. His eyes glossed over from a life that’s dealt him a nasty hand. In his hand is a small box. Nestled in his pocket. He holds onto it, ready, at any moment to pull it out in a last desperation move for help. An 8 ball of sorts, to bail him out in a bind. A kind of pocket God. I see him walking across a cold marble floor to shake hands with an equally stuffy, mistakenly collected man.
Two takes of God. Ones I’ve worshiped at different times. One big the other small.
As the little girl, there have been times where God is big! He is beautifully limitless. All-powerful and mightily in control of it all. Where joy overflows and taking delight comes easy. Where hope is bountiful, and from faith flows rivers of life and love. God is big and my understanding and worship of him attempts to match that!
There are other times I’ve mastered God into a palm pilot that fits nicely into my life’s plan. One that is tame enough and providential enough to provide for my needs without being too involved as to create any rifts. One that doesn’t ask too many questions and provides only the politically correct answers. One just big enough to take care of my problems, but small enough to stifle if things seem to get a little haywire.
And though it seems simple and a little trite to say... I’d much rather worship with first! Kind of like the “Jesus!” safety answer in Bible study, but truly. Worshiping the biggest and greatest and Holiest God I can imagine seems greater than somewhat trusting the little pocket God I can re-mastered to fit my needs. And while I often error to favor the control I have when I make God small, I fail to see his greatness and therefore miss the opportunity to see him for who he really is.
And though I’ll never entirely know who God is, I am assured of this... he is all that is most beautiful, most good, most powerful, most gracious, most just, most loving, most perfect and lovely. If ever I’m tempted to worship or understand God to characterize anything less... I’ve settled, horribly, for a mere pocket God. If I’m going to recognize Lordship over my life to a God, I’d want him to be the most of all else. That doesn't mean I have to master theology, or even understand an iota of it... it simply means that I have to trust that his is who he says he is, even when I can't see it or understand it fully. He is above all-- even when life suggests otherwise.
I never did find the place I was looking for. However I did run across many a cyclists a cemetery, and an awesome stone house that looked like one Hansel and Gretel would reside in, and in the meanwhile thought a lot about God. A good morning in my book! Maybe I’ll never find this place and I’ll end up emptying my gas tank, wasting an hour thinking about God and enjoying some quiet time! But, I think I’m okay with that!

A Lil Art... with a lot of ink.

I started doing these pieces when i was a freshman at Biola. All starting with a simple loop, which turned into an image resembling the Eiffel Tower. From that tower shadowed a picture of the Great Commission. The calling to go to all the nations... and love with with the Gospel of Jesus. That vision became my first piece and was my only until i graduated.


This summer i bought a blank canvased prayer journal. As i sat on the swing one morning... praying for friends, i began to doodle on the back cover. From that came my second piece. A little more personal, yet one of my favorites.



Then the ideas came. One for Rhaylee with her dedication verse. One for Heather and James as they get married. One for Matty and his heart for Africa. One for Kenny and his tattoo vision. The more i doodled, the more the ideas came. And as i began to do more pieces, more people learned and grew fond of them!

Rhaylees dediation verse: "As obedient children, do not be conformed to the passions of your former ignorance. But, as he who called you is Holy, you also be holy in all your conduct. For it is written, you shall be holy for I am Holy."

"Love is patient and kind, it does not envy or boast. It is not arrogant or rude. It does not insists its own way; it is not irritable, or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things!"
1 Cor 13:4-7

Africa... do you see the elephant? : ) Matty came home from Hume with a heart for Africa.... i made him a reminder of that!

So why do i post them on my blog. Well... i have gifts for a reason. And maybe my art could be a blessing, contribute to or inspire someone else! I am working on my first tattoo... with a few more requests. Do you need a t-shirt design? Are you going on a missions trip and need a piece to auction off? Want a unique gift for a loved one? Want a piece of art for your home? My supplies are simple. Paper and pens. Depending on the size you'd like, maybe lots of them! Everything is freehand. Except the ideas... those are a lot bigger than me !

Enjoy!

Lewis, Love and Pirate English

"For the dream of finding our end, of the things we were made for, in a Heaven of purely human love could not be true unless our whole Faith were wrong. We were made for God. Only by being in some respect life I'm, only by being a manifestation of His beauty, loving- kindness, wisdom or goodness, has any earthly Beloved excited our love. It is not that we have loved them too much, but that we did not quite understand what we were loving. It is not that we shall be asked to turn from them, so dearly familiar, to a Stranger. When we see the face of God we shall know that we have always known it. He has been a party to, has made, sustained, and moved moment b moment within, ll out earthy experience of innocent love. All that was true love in them was, even on earth, far more His than ours, and ours only because His. In heaven there will be more anguish and no duty of turning away from our earthly Beloveds. First, because we shall have turned already; fro m the portraits of the Original, from the rivulets to the Fountain, from the creatures He made lovable to the Love Himself. But secondly, because we shall find them all in Him. By loving Him more than them we shall love them more than we now do. " - C.S. Lewis The Four Loves 

Just finished this book. And as one heralds it as a "modern mirror of our souls" mirroring the virtues and vices of human loving, i'd say "arr this be pleasin' to me eye". First things first, did you know that you can change your Facebook default language to "English Pirate". Yup... and i guess the thumbs up "I Like" transliteration would be "arr this be pleasin' to me eye". Try it. It's funny.

But back to C.S. Lewis.

So this book. It's thick. So thick i probably read it 3 times or so unknowingly. But, classics are classics for a reason, and sifting through it was well worth it. It talks about Four Loves. Obviously. Affection, Friendship, Eros and Charity; and humans tendencies, vice and virtue, in regards to them. The entire book was thought provoking, but I'll focus on a few things.

"Nature never taught me that there exists a God of glory and of infinite majesty. I had to learn that in other ways. But nature gave the word glory a meaning for me. I still do not know where else I could have found one. I do not see how the 'fear' of God could have ever meant anything but the lowest prudential efforts to be safe, if I had never seen certain ominous ravines and unapproachable crags., And if nature had never awakened certain longings in me, huge areas of what I can now mean by the 'love' of God would never, so far as I can see, have existed."

Don't know about you, but I'd be the first to say "Nature is where I meet with God." Which to a degree is true, but in a different capacity. Being in nature, in all its elements, provides me with an image of the attributes of the invisible God.  It gives me tangible evidences of God's character. So, yes, when i retreat to nature, i am going to get a snapshot to help me understand the character of God! I wonder if that's why God created the heavens and the earth before he created humans? If we had nothing of material essence to help us understand this immaterial God, how could we know his character and in return love him?

Last thought.

"What is near Him by likeness is never, by that fact alone, going to be any nearer. But nearness by approach is, by definition, increasing nearness."

I am created in the image of God. A daughter of his and therefore share a nearness to him simply because i was created in his likeness. However, when i approach the God of heaven and earth-- daily, momentarily, unceasingly-- i come near to Him increasingly. The nearer I draw to him to more closely i am to resemble Him. The closer i am to him, the more i love him. The more i love him, the more i live like he did. The more i live like he did, the more people will see a difference. 

"Our imitation of God in this life... must be an imitation of God incarnate: our model is Jesus, not only of Calvary, but of the workshop, the roads, the crowds, the clamorous demands, and surly oppositions, the lack of all peace ad privacy, the interruptions. For this, so strangely unlike anything we can attribute to the Divine life in itself, is apparently not only like, but is the Divine life operating under human conditions."

Sarah Potts: wants to look like Jesus. 

Jesus: "arr this be pleasin' to me eye". 

: )

The Slow Life

I’ve recently found that living the slow life is more complicated than I planned for. In the midst of folks living out the fast life, it is seemingly more stressful to slow down than it is to simply keep up. I’m finding out what a master I’ve become of the fast life, and that it’s the slow life I need help with.
With the turning of my tassel came also a new page in life. Obviously. A season I set aside, to look forward at the future, while soaking in the rest of “just being” for a while. I graduated significantly tired and sadly slothful. Overworked. Overloaded. And overlooked. I’ve needed a break. From school. From work. From life. Just for a little bit. To tend to the things I’ve left hanging for a while. To enjoy a cup of coffee on the porch without having to rush off to class. To sit and read a book without the knock of duty at my door. To not shower for a day, sit in old work out clothes, and not have to worry about who I’ll see or how I look walking into the café. However, though I came into this summer, intentionally planning not to work, and with no studies to study, forcing myself to relax, I’m four weeks in and tired of the rest.
A little “stir crazy” if you will. In the company of friends and family going about life at normal, hyper speed, I’m finding my efforts less than impressive and lazy at best. “What did you do today?” “Well, I slept in. Made some tea. Facebooked for a while. Real booked for a little while. Went for a run and then started dinner.” For an outsider it sounds like a rather restful, enjoyable day. And as an insider it was such, up until week two. I was rather fine moseying around the house doing practically nothing. But now guilt has set in and I’m scrounging around for something—anything—to do. This slow pace isn’t good for me. And the efforts to be good at it make it less enjoyable.
Now don’t get me wrong. I like slow. I enjoy waking up to lunch hunger pangs. The noon sun, beating in my window, waking me up is delightful (though often hot). I enjoy a cup of coffee on the swing to start a day with no plans. And I like looking at the clock at 2:30 only to notice I’m still in my PJ’s and have no clean clothes to change into. I can live with those things.
But not every day.
I need something to put my hand to. I’m so used to working toward something. This inactivity is driving me mad! (not literally... at least not yet). But what I am concluding is this... slowing down while everyone else is keeping pace isn’t working out so hot. And while I’m attempting to refresh and restock, I’m slowly becoming guilt’s prey and I think she’s winning.

I'm enjoying my first cup of college-graduate tea, and it's a little bittersweet!
I graduated this weekend. Four years went by quick. Really quick! Finished up my job yesterday. Packed up my room. Loaded my truck. Left Biola for the last time. Hugged my roommate goodbye. And drove home. It was a sad drive. I think it took me longer to get home that ever. There wasn't traffic, i was just taking my time. (Though im sure the full bed didn't help much)
So i sit at the spring of summer needing rest. Excited about a quite, slow summer. Time to reconnect with my family and friends. Yet I'm anxious about what is to come this fall. So many options... so many hopes! Yearning adventure...
But we shall see!
Right now... im just looking forward to my laundry being done so i can wear some clean clothes. And a possible nap this afternoon! So until later...

cheers!

I have heard your stories...

I've heard your stories. Seen where you live. Where you work. The men who hurt you. The people who've sold and bought you. The price tag you are given. I've seen your faces and your eyes have captured me. You story has captivated me. With righteous anger and compassion. I hate the men who hurt you. For you are beautiful daughter a of the King. You are worthy of love... not empty touch and passion. You are worthy of attention... not just as a product. You should be playing on a playground... not in the beds of rich men. You should be learning literature, not picking up a gun and raping other children. You should be honored for your work, paid rightly for you hard work... not enslaved to indebtedness and fear. Freedom... not bondage. Space to live, not chains of fear!
The God of Heaven and Earth looks down with wrath. He hates sin. He is coming back. To restore things. He died, rose again in victory and is returning to restore all things to the way he intended them! One day, he will come and make things new. He will bring judgment and freedom. He promised he would.
Jesus, may your kingdom come here, to earth, as it is in heaven. Use me as an agent in the advancement of it.
Until you give me specifics... increase my longing for heaven. For the day when i will stand eye to eye with you, my King... and enter the joy of my Lord for eternity!
What a beautiful day!

Come!

I spent a few days in wonder.
In awe of Beauty.
In the center of the face of Glory.
The face of the Beautiful One.
The One who creates.
Who designs.
Who breathes the clouds.
Who paints the colors.
Who stacks the layers.
Places the steps.
Directs the flows.
Shines the sun.
Pours down the rain.
The snow.
The delight and awe.
I spent a few days in the valley. Surrounded by mighty walls, painted with mystery. I gazed upon landscapes too beautiful to capture with words. Stood above the rush of powerful waters and looked down as they crashed below. I walked as the rain poured, as the sun shone, and as the clouds lingered. And beauty surrounded me. The beauty of a wonderful, beautiful Creator. One who delights to create beauty, that would hold man accountable to his Lordship, and awe at. Beauty that was created to be looked at, maybe even purely for the delight and joy it brings. Whatever its purpose... it directed my heart to Christ. Of which all things were created. He is beautiful. And his creation is only a mere fraction of his weightiness ...a slight inkling of his splendor and glory. Of his creativity, and intricacy. One day i will stand before him. Face to face. How i long for that day! That i would see my creator, look him in the eye. Behold his beauty... and count everything else as rubbish in comparison! To that end... Come Lord Jesus Come!