Disciple and Dependence

So... i've been learning a lot lately. Last week was Mission Conference and i went into that time praying that God would speak to me, and that i would hear and do the Word. Though totally side note to the main message, one speaker said: "If you don't awake to praise the Lord, the rest of creation will." That hit me hard. I mean... all of creation awakes at the light of dawn to bless him and reflect back to Him his glory. While i lay unconscious in my bed hung over with slumber and exhaustion, the rest of creation awakens to praise Him. God created me to bring him glory... above any other creation... i should be first to wake and praise Him.
"Lord, i desire to awake to bless you before all other creation does." For He is worthy of my morning, my first thoughts, my first devotions, my first praises.
I was walking around the track on morning, thanking Him for such a wonderful day, for giving my breath and allowing me another day. Then the Lord asked me to depend on him. What? For anyone who knows me... dependence isn't my strongest characteristic.
I'm really good at being independent. It's probably my pride that helps me do it so well... but i'm good at making things work... i've learning that making thing simply "work" doesn't mean they flourish. The Lord asked me to depend on him... for everything. This dependence required me to hand everything over to him. Everything. My mornings, my body, my desires, my hopes, my fears, my time, my money, my future... everything.
Dependence and discipline are new to me. But i desire to be used by God. That means waking early to be with him to declare his goodness in my life... even if i'm tired. That means treating my body as the temple of the Holy Spirit... taking care of it, so that God could use me however he wishes. That means presenting all my desires before the Lord, and having him prune them. That means spending my money as Christ would have me spend it. Filling my mind with the precious Word of God, and taking every thought captive...that my mind would be pleasing before God.
I don't want to be independent anymore. I desire to be completely dependent upon God... and that starts with reversing some pattens in my life. I was reading Isaiah this morning and it said... that God awaits to show mercy. For those who look to him... he is merciful. For that i am so thankful... that he would choose to refine me instead of cast me away into the fire.

Commons

So... maybe you haven't experienced this, but i doubt that.
So you know those regular places you sit... you know to study, or to read, or to do whatever the heck you do regularly? Well... i have one of those. Commonly called Commons. Just a little coffee shop on campus... nothing special. Just some comfy floral chairs and limited electrical plugs for my computer... but you know it does the trick. I'm in there almost everyday... studying or wasting time between my classes, since walking home isn't worth it. Well... i see the same few people every time i go. I haven't figured out if we have similar schedules or whether we're just there all the time... so it would only make sense that we would see each other regularly. But the funny part of this story is... i don't know their names. I mean.... sometimes i eavesdrop on their conversations... even chuckle at their jokes... but i mean... i kinda wish i knew them. If i did... we could sit and waste time together. Well... to those unnamed, familiar faces... let's be friends.

Saturday morning, 5:00 am early morning, i was down on skid row. Setting up for Biola's Steps from Hope event. We had close to 2500 pairs of shoes, and food for 5000 people... and all the inflatable, sugary, entertaining, excitement a kid could hope for. The event was quite the production. We closed down San Pedro between 5th and 6th for an entire afternoon and opened it to the people of LA, offering them food, shoes, and most importantly the hope of Christ. I was blessed to be able to walk about and talk to people during the event. It was then that i met two women, who challenged me. The first was Tracy. As i was sitting talking to a women about her children and the struggle to get a bed in the mission, i noticed Tracy who was wearing a Union Rescue Mission jacket. I stopped her to ask her how one would go about getting a bed. I soon was engaged in a conversation that was beautifully challenging. As the conversation went on... i was describing to her my tension. A tension between desiring to end homeless, but feeling that all the efforts i'm apart of only fulfill a temporary need. Proving a lunch, and pair of shoes may bless someone for a day, or a week, or even a month, but what is that doing to help them in the long run? A warm bed in a shelter may comfort them from the chills of the night, or the dangers of the street, but how is that helping them in the long run? I asked her... what needs to be done to get people off the streets for good? She told me discipleship. What? Yes, she said... the families of the church need to be willing to take in the homeless, provide them a place to live, the opportunity for job placement, and the training up in the Lord necessary found strongly in the fellowship of believers. Just like the church should act. If i am going to disciple the younger generation to grow up to to be Godly men and women, i should be willing to do the same for the homeless people who would have no other chance otherwise. What a thought! If the church acted as it was intended to... to love and serve and commit to people the way Christ did... it would help heal many of our world's problems. 

The second lady i talked to was Wanda. Wanda was sweet. A beautiful women who desperately loved her children. He daughters were taken away from her because of her  drug addiction. Wanda needed someone to talk to . Someone to listen and show concern for her. Can you imagine living a life fending for yourself... all the time. I cannot imagine the loneliness she must feel. She begged me to pray for her, and for her daughters... that  she would get to see them, and that Satan would be far from her in her battle to remain clean. She needed more than lunch, or new shoes... she needed to know someone cared... something eternal. 

So now im stuck. Though my time on skid row was beautiful... as like  every time I'm down there. I know that the greatest thing the people down there need is the good grace of Jesus Christ and the hope of salvation that he offers... but i also know that they desperately need food, and clothes, and shoes, and homes, jobs, medical attention,  counseling, school, protection, ohh... and so much more. How does the church tackle such a task? How do we heal the wounds of these people, not simply provide temporary relief?

It sickens me that i live in the greatest, wealthiest city in the nation, with the greatest and most destitute homeless population in the nation. It sickens me that children are being born and raised in back allies where they are forced to grow up in world that most adults wouldn't even dare to venture. Something horribly wrong is going on... but how do i go about being the change i desire? It seems to big. At least for me that is. Nothing is too big for my LORD. You know the same one who raised men from the dead. Calmed the sea with his words. You know... the Creator and Sustainer of the universe?

 I want a movement... what if the local church committed to ending homelessness. What if Skid Row was abolished? It's a huge task... but i fully believe that God blesses our meager attempts to do something big... because it's when we fail to make ends meet, or fail all together that he gets to intervene and show up powerfully... for it's then that his glory is manifested. 

Alright Lord... whatever you want... count me in. I'm willing. It's huge... but is any generation has the means to make this happen... we do. I can't be settle knowing that as i go to sleep in my bed tonight... families are settling into their weathered boxes... 

Oh ResLife

This morning i found out that i am going to be a Resident Coordinator in Thompson hall at Biola!! Who would have thought? The small desire of my heart from years ago, the one i pushed away because i never thought i could have it... is here. It's real... and i am so excited! I'm excited first to be back on campus. Oh... how i've missed campus life! And secondly... im excited to be back in a place surrounded by women who i can pour my life into. Oh... the position of RA awakened the parts of my heart that love to be with women, to share life with them, to guide and encourage them, and to have fun doing the crazy things college allows! So this next year... i'm back! Oh, that God would choose me to serve my community in such a way!! Such a privilege...and im so excited! I am going to miss my kitchen... and my living room. But we'll work that out!! :)

Yay for ResLife!