Good News of Great Joy

“Fear not, for behold, I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Jesus Christ the Lord.”

Whoot to that!

When I think about Christmas I am so thankful. You see, Jesus came to this place to make things new. And that he did. Israel had been waiting. A long time. But when the time had come, the perfect time, the hope of their longings turned to pure joy! In form of a baby boy. Some believed, some didn’t, yet all had to hope. Their long due Messiah was finally here. The hope of salvation could finally be here. Arriving not as the powerful King they were looking for, but in the quiet slumber of a child. And while it was different than thought, the hope of peace filled them full, and a joy covered the people.

The good news of Jesus, to us, is great joy! That baby grew up. The life of Jesus, as he walked this earth, brought love and healing to a broken and thrashed world. The humanity of Jesus to us, is comfort and consolation when we are tempted to despair. The death of Jesus is a payment for our sin and a declaration of God’s unmerited, abounding, horribly awesome love. And Christ’s resurrection is the power of victory, the hope of salvation, and the promise of his return. Now that’s joy if I’ve ever known it.

So now I wait. Not hopelessly! Oh, contrare! You see, I’ve seen the King! And he’s beautiful! I’ve been graciously mobilized to live fully in great hope and abundant joy that Jesus, one beautiful day, will return again. And in glorious power will snatch me from this place and set me in eternity with him. Oh Patty, Heavenly Day it will be! But, while I wait, I live! You see, the enemy came to kill, steal and destroy, but my King came to give me life! Abundant life. And I haven’t got time to waste. People need to be loved. They need to see Jesus. And I am convinced that seeing Jesus, for who he really is, changes everything!

Jesus has come people!! REJOICE!! Good news of GREAT JOY has come... and he saved the world.

Merry Christmas to you. And as a dear friend told me earlier, Christmas Day was so big we needed an eve to celebrate its full awesomeness. So, Merry Christmas Eve... may you see Jesus today and be changed! While we celebrate his coming, we long for and hope in the day he will come again and made ALL THINGS new! What a glorious day!

So live. FULLY!
...maybe today Lord!

"And the Word Became Flesh"

"In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning.

Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made. In him was life, and that life was the light of men. The light shines in the darkness, but the darkness has not understood it...

The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the One and Only, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth."

- John 1:1-5, 14

Piece to be raffled off to help fund the Urbana Conference '09 team... www.urbana.org

Contact me if your interested in buying a ticket!

Garnished With Hope

Today is Thanksgiving. A day to remember the blessing and provisions of a new land. The fortitude of the faithful, the mercies of the Maker and the many thanksgivings of the oddly clad Pilgrims. Well everyone really, but i guess it all started with them. One thing i do know... I’m pretty darn thankful for the person who thought of the word “cornucopia”. It’s a good one!

Anyway, on a more serious note, this year’s season comes at a time when more people are facing many more trials during much harsher times. Everyone seems to be talking about the economy and how awful it is. The affects of it are pretty obvious and it has hit closer than expected and comfortable. People have lost their jobs. Their homes. Their health. Families have taken hit upon hit to find a glimpse of hope in the provision of a food stamp, the heart of generous handout, and the sweet voice on the end of a helpline. Simple thanksgivings are found in the supply of the necessities and the abundance of mere relief. (Though in the host of phone calls for food assistance this week, I did get a one from a woman asking if we could provide her family a pie.)

However, in the midst of all of the hardship, there is hope! That hope is found in the steadfast love of God for his wonder-prone crazies (like me), and in the life and victory of Christ.

God is unwavering. His character is sure. It is good and righteous. All just and all loving. Merciful and wrathful. Mighty and exceedingly exalted. Not just the “man up stairs” but a living, active, and patient God. His patience is unmerited and his provisions are sufficient. He chooses, and commands, and convicts his chosen. Corrects and carries the burden his children. He conjures and carves, curves and coils, channels and cracks all the crevasses, creatures and rest of colossal creation. He is God. (And I just used a lot of “c” words.)
“I will give to the Lord the thanks due to his righteousness, and I will sing praise to the name of the Lord, the Most High.”

Christ was sent and is the perfect substitution. Through the wrath of a holy God poured out on a perfect man, we are granted access to the Holy One. That alone evokes thanksgiving. He qualifies God’s chosen to share in his rightful inheritance. He delivers sinners from the dominion of darkness and delivers them into the transforming kingdom of Christ. Into a new life of light! Man’s standing before God was redeemed though the cross. Through Christ’s death and resurrection. “But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ” I Corinthians 15:57

Even when life serves up a banquet of hardship, it is garnished with the hope! Always. God does not change. His righteousness is steadfast! His goodness is grand. And his promises are sure. Even if that is all we have, we have ample reasons for thanksgiving. “Give thanks in all circumstances for it is the will of God in Christ for you.” 1 Thessalonians 5:18

Happy Thanksgiving to you all!! May you be fed with the lovely knowledge of Christ Jesus and may that translate into unceasing thanks and a life of giving! May you be stuffed with the good bread of life. Filled full, but not too full, of the true vine wine. And whatever other Biblical analogy you can make for the green been casserole, mashed potatoes and pumpkin goodies.

In the wise words of Solomon, “Eat, drink, and be merry... for tomorrow we die.”Good one Solly... I mean, it is Black Friday!

Inked

A few blogs ago i posted some of my artwork and mentioned i was working on a tattoo for my brother! Well... i finished it and the first stage of it has made it to his leg! Here it is...

The inspiration was Psalm 1.

Blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked or stand in the way of sinners or sit in the seat of mockers. ² But his delight is in the law of the LORD,and on his law he meditates day and night.³ He is like a tree planted by streams of water,which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither. Whatever he does prospers.⁴ Not so the wicked! They are like chaff that the wind blows away.⁵ Therefore the wicked will not stand in the judgment,nor sinners in the assembly of the righteous.⁶ For the LORD watches over the way of the righteous, but the way of the wicked will perish.

A strong tree yields fruit. Good fruit. So in the branches is the Fruit of the Spirit from Galatians 5. I'll be sure to post more when it's finished! : )

Creeper. Not Keeper.

Repetition is powerful. When several, similar “happenings” just happen to happen in a short period of time... it’s hard not to take notice. And though most of the time it’s when I’m due for a whirlwind of character development, this most recent trend is quite perplexing. It's like when you pray for patience and the whole week you master the light grid to get all reds and your computer seems to run at turtle speed. Well... I’m just not so sure what the heck to do with it, but i'm hoping it's not indicative of my future.

You see, I seem to be attracting men. Yes. Men. But, hold on to your knickers my friends... no need to jump for joy just yet. While most women would not consider such a problem... these aren’t the kind of men I’m really looking for. However to some, at this point, I should just take whatever I can get.

Let me explain.

When a newspaper sales man greets you from across the gas station parking with, “Hey there pretty girl,” it’s kind of freaky. If he’d been in a windowless, unmarked, white van, I probably would have run. And if there were an alternative entrance into the gas station, I probably would have made a discrete b-line to another door. You see, I don’t usually make small talk with the fellows pumping gas.... and not too often do I strike up a conversation with strange men in parking lots. Call it rude. To me, its seems common sense. But, in Sarah kind, I gave him the benefit of the doubt, and smiled. Since this man seemed to have a non- traditional-woman-snatching job—selling newspapers—I disregarded the creepy one-liner and thought it’d be safe to say a quick good morning, pick up a paper, and head on my way. Oh contrare! Intentions were dually noted when regardless of the multiple conversation diverters I attempted, he persistently commented on my “pretty eyes” and how “he doesn’t usually pick up on younger women like this.” When he continued to ask my age and the age range of men I typically date I gave my adieus and hit the road. Man #1 we’ll call Creeper. Negatory on the keeper.

Man #2. The gosh darn sun. You know when you’re talking to someone and the sun is right behind their head and you can’t really see their face? All you can really see is the silhouette of their head? Well let’s just say the stars were perfectly aligned for this second story and I met the non-man-of-my-dreams number two.

I stopped at Starbucks for a cup of coffee. All I wanted was a cup of coffee. You know those times when you go to Starbucks hoping that some cute lad will be sitting in the corner reading a book you could make an intelligent comment about? You’ll hit it off and the rest is history? (Just me? Oh, sad.)
Well... this wasn’t one of those days. I really just wanted coffee... and even if there was a cute lad I probably wouldn’t have gone for it. (Actually I probably would have, but for the drama of this story I’ll say I was on a strict mission to get some coffee.)
Coffee in hand I walk over to the condiment bar to find a uniformed man doctoring his own cup o’ jo. We exchanged good mornings and as he passed me the half-n- half I look up to make eye contact. At this point the sun is right behind his head, magnifying as it makes its way through the glass, and is literally blinding me. I make a witty comment about bright lights and apologize for squinting to see him. I literally cannot see his face. Actually at this point, I really can’t see anything because the short glance into the direct sunlight has marred my eyes. I do catch him giving me a quick one over and he proceeds to tell me he likes it because “at this angle, it makes my eyes look pretty.” Don’t know if swanky can be used to describe speech, but if it can that’s how he talked. Creeper status.
He seemed like a nice guy so I disregard the body scan and creepy, swanky voice, and quickly stirred and lid-ed my coffee. The conversation continued and because I didn’t want to be rude, I kind of move around and shaded my eyes from the sun so I could see his face, and to hopefully protect him from awful, distorted faces I’ve been making at him—compliments of the sun.
He was like 50. And a cop. A fifty year old cop.
Cops are fine. Fifty? Seriously? Not the cute lad I had in mind. Not even close.
The conversation continued and ended at the “Oh, I’d give my money to those eyes,” comment.
I chuckled awkwardly. Smiled and headed toward the door. Offering wishes of a “good one”.
And somehow he got away with my business card.
When does that ever happen? I cannot deny the stars were aligned... but seriously. Fifty? Come on man!

Man #3. I sometimes will take my lunch to a local coffee shop, buy a diet coke, and enjoy my sack lunch on the patio. Today I did the same and I met a man named Matt.
Let’s just say I met Matt inside the coffee shop and he followed me outside to the patio. I entertained the break from my reading and talked to him for a while. He was a nice guy. Just wanted to talk to someone. I could do that! He expressed interest in the Untied Way and volunteering (note to self- remove name tag when you go to lunch), so I gave him my card and told him to check out our website! After a while of talking I said goodbye and headed to my truck. He stopped me mid-parking lot and told me “You know, there aren’t too many single, Christian women in the high desert.” I affirmed him, not really knowing what to say to that, and he continued to tell me how his pastor told him there were “more demons in the valley than any where else.” I thanked him for talking and encouraged him again to check out the United Way and headed back to work. Laughing once again at the kind of men I seem to attract.
About an hour later I heard some commotion in our front lobby. My boss has crossed paths with a man as she’s leaving the office. She’s having trouble understanding him but makes out that he’s asking for Sarah.
Matt followed me to work. To give me his business card. He goes on to tell me, “You’re a California girl. With blonde hair and blue eyes.” And that he’s, “a beach boy.” I try to divert the conversation to volunteering with the United Way and thank him for bringing by his cards. And though met with some resistance I tell him I have to get back to work and thank him again for stopping by. Matt is a nice man. I appreciate his persistence, but there’s a line. Following a girl to work is a little creepy and crosses that line.
I later leave for a meeting and return to find I’ve missed a call from Matt. He wants me to call him back. He left his cell phone number.

My conclusion is this: I’m either in the wrong place at the wrong time and too nice to the wrong people, God has an awful sense of humor, or I’m a bloody magnet for crisis-bound middle-life aged men. Mom always said I’d marry an older man... but I’m hoping older does presume the creeper, the stalker, and infertile.

holy moly! i need to get out of the desert!

Three Suburbans and a Tractor

I left for my 3 o'clock meeting today a little early. Last week i left a little late and almost got in a few nasty wrecks trying to get there on time. So i decided i'd use a little wisdom, leave early, and avoid the need for speed.
To where you ask? Cemex. A cement plant. Now, with a few ounces of common sense you could probably conclude that such a place wouldn't be located in the center of town. And you would be right. Hence the long drive. To get there you have to take a long, straight road out to the middle of nowhere. The only way to find this place is the huge pile of overturned earth that looks a little whiter than the rest of the mountain. It literally is the only thing on the road.
On my way, i passed a bus stop and laughed. Really hard. I couldn't help myself! Why you ask? Well, like a typical American buss stop, i guess a more modern one, you have yourself the parking lot of family vehicles. Parents waiting for their chitlins to pile off the bus. I would assume it's kind of a social status meter. You know, the kinds of cars waiting at the bus stop. Maybe in Malibu, moms pull up in their chrome rimed Land Rovers to pick up their kids named JJ and Jo. Short of course for their real names. The trendy hippie moms of the northwest might pull up in their beat up station wagon tatted with the latest travel stickers and political insignia. Smelling of organic burnt bacon from dad's latest attempt to beat the pump. The yuppie, urban dwellers might pull up in their energy saver cars. However a little less fortunate than the other kids, theirs are forced to stack on top because there isn't a back seat. Or trunk. Or really any space, other than the roof, for that matter. These kids can't play instruments or sports, either. Sad. They should just take the metro.
Anyway, the bus stop i passed today was hilarious. Three suburbans and a tractor.
Some kid's mom pickin' him up from the bus stop on a tractor! That's AWESOME! The moms i'm sure are used to this. However i can't imagine a 5th grader, growing into his "too cool for school", or "too cool for tractor" stage of life, piling off the bus in excitement to see his overall clad mother a top ol' mr. deer. But... when he grows up, he's realize just how awesome that is! And he'll laugh just like i did! :)

!?! x !?!

I went for a drive this morning. A little frustrated that I woke up at 6:30am, on my day off, to get all ready, and drive 20 minutes across town for a meeting that lasted only 7 minutes. But, after a minute of sulking and asking myself: “how was that even worth it?” I made a pit stop at Starbucks for a cup o’ jo and decided to head for the hills. For weeks I’ve been looking for and wanting to explore this desert wonderland I’ve heard of... with trails around the Apply Valley rocks and such things. Well, I have no idea what road it’s on, but I decided to take a little drive in an attempt to find it. And plus, it wasn’t barely 8:30 am, my family was still asleep, and it was a beautiful morning!
If you know me, you know that I like to take drives... especially when there are new things to look at. So, while I’m guilty of wasting gas and doing my part to contribute to the global warming problem, I am content to say it was well worth it!
During my drive, my mind quickly wandered to God. (Sadly not as common an occurrence as I’d hope for this late in my Christian walk, but I’m still a work in progress.) Anyway, I started to think about the size of God. The literal size of God. And while I briefly remember Tozer blasting the person who dare put limits on a Holy God... I continued to entertain the thoughts for a while.
So, I’m a pretty visual person. That’s why I loved geometry and couldn’t master calculus for the life of me... but I digress. I understand things when I can see them. (Which doesn’t lend aid with the whole faith factor, but we’ll save that for another entry!) But as I started to think, two images came to my mind.
The first of a little girl, in a full dress. Her head back, hair flowing, smile full, eyes glowing. Her little arms stretched, hands open, reaching upward, grasping for some childish delight. Not Turkish—childish. Maybe her dad. Maybe something in the sky. Spinning around, just for the sake of getting all dizzy, falling down, laughing, standing back up, and doing it again, just for the fun of it.
The other image I had is of a man. Primp and proper. Dressed to the nines. Pleated, cuffed and belted. Greased and combed, tied together with a grin. His eyes glossed over from a life that’s dealt him a nasty hand. In his hand is a small box. Nestled in his pocket. He holds onto it, ready, at any moment to pull it out in a last desperation move for help. An 8 ball of sorts, to bail him out in a bind. A kind of pocket God. I see him walking across a cold marble floor to shake hands with an equally stuffy, mistakenly collected man.
Two takes of God. Ones I’ve worshiped at different times. One big the other small.
As the little girl, there have been times where God is big! He is beautifully limitless. All-powerful and mightily in control of it all. Where joy overflows and taking delight comes easy. Where hope is bountiful, and from faith flows rivers of life and love. God is big and my understanding and worship of him attempts to match that!
There are other times I’ve mastered God into a palm pilot that fits nicely into my life’s plan. One that is tame enough and providential enough to provide for my needs without being too involved as to create any rifts. One that doesn’t ask too many questions and provides only the politically correct answers. One just big enough to take care of my problems, but small enough to stifle if things seem to get a little haywire.
And though it seems simple and a little trite to say... I’d much rather worship with first! Kind of like the “Jesus!” safety answer in Bible study, but truly. Worshiping the biggest and greatest and Holiest God I can imagine seems greater than somewhat trusting the little pocket God I can re-mastered to fit my needs. And while I often error to favor the control I have when I make God small, I fail to see his greatness and therefore miss the opportunity to see him for who he really is.
And though I’ll never entirely know who God is, I am assured of this... he is all that is most beautiful, most good, most powerful, most gracious, most just, most loving, most perfect and lovely. If ever I’m tempted to worship or understand God to characterize anything less... I’ve settled, horribly, for a mere pocket God. If I’m going to recognize Lordship over my life to a God, I’d want him to be the most of all else. That doesn't mean I have to master theology, or even understand an iota of it... it simply means that I have to trust that his is who he says he is, even when I can't see it or understand it fully. He is above all-- even when life suggests otherwise.
I never did find the place I was looking for. However I did run across many a cyclists a cemetery, and an awesome stone house that looked like one Hansel and Gretel would reside in, and in the meanwhile thought a lot about God. A good morning in my book! Maybe I’ll never find this place and I’ll end up emptying my gas tank, wasting an hour thinking about God and enjoying some quiet time! But, I think I’m okay with that!

A Lil Art... with a lot of ink.

I started doing these pieces when i was a freshman at Biola. All starting with a simple loop, which turned into an image resembling the Eiffel Tower. From that tower shadowed a picture of the Great Commission. The calling to go to all the nations... and love with with the Gospel of Jesus. That vision became my first piece and was my only until i graduated.


This summer i bought a blank canvased prayer journal. As i sat on the swing one morning... praying for friends, i began to doodle on the back cover. From that came my second piece. A little more personal, yet one of my favorites.



Then the ideas came. One for Rhaylee with her dedication verse. One for Heather and James as they get married. One for Matty and his heart for Africa. One for Kenny and his tattoo vision. The more i doodled, the more the ideas came. And as i began to do more pieces, more people learned and grew fond of them!

Rhaylees dediation verse: "As obedient children, do not be conformed to the passions of your former ignorance. But, as he who called you is Holy, you also be holy in all your conduct. For it is written, you shall be holy for I am Holy."

"Love is patient and kind, it does not envy or boast. It is not arrogant or rude. It does not insists its own way; it is not irritable, or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things!"
1 Cor 13:4-7

Africa... do you see the elephant? : ) Matty came home from Hume with a heart for Africa.... i made him a reminder of that!

So why do i post them on my blog. Well... i have gifts for a reason. And maybe my art could be a blessing, contribute to or inspire someone else! I am working on my first tattoo... with a few more requests. Do you need a t-shirt design? Are you going on a missions trip and need a piece to auction off? Want a unique gift for a loved one? Want a piece of art for your home? My supplies are simple. Paper and pens. Depending on the size you'd like, maybe lots of them! Everything is freehand. Except the ideas... those are a lot bigger than me !

Enjoy!

Lewis, Love and Pirate English

"For the dream of finding our end, of the things we were made for, in a Heaven of purely human love could not be true unless our whole Faith were wrong. We were made for God. Only by being in some respect life I'm, only by being a manifestation of His beauty, loving- kindness, wisdom or goodness, has any earthly Beloved excited our love. It is not that we have loved them too much, but that we did not quite understand what we were loving. It is not that we shall be asked to turn from them, so dearly familiar, to a Stranger. When we see the face of God we shall know that we have always known it. He has been a party to, has made, sustained, and moved moment b moment within, ll out earthy experience of innocent love. All that was true love in them was, even on earth, far more His than ours, and ours only because His. In heaven there will be more anguish and no duty of turning away from our earthly Beloveds. First, because we shall have turned already; fro m the portraits of the Original, from the rivulets to the Fountain, from the creatures He made lovable to the Love Himself. But secondly, because we shall find them all in Him. By loving Him more than them we shall love them more than we now do. " - C.S. Lewis The Four Loves 

Just finished this book. And as one heralds it as a "modern mirror of our souls" mirroring the virtues and vices of human loving, i'd say "arr this be pleasin' to me eye". First things first, did you know that you can change your Facebook default language to "English Pirate". Yup... and i guess the thumbs up "I Like" transliteration would be "arr this be pleasin' to me eye". Try it. It's funny.

But back to C.S. Lewis.

So this book. It's thick. So thick i probably read it 3 times or so unknowingly. But, classics are classics for a reason, and sifting through it was well worth it. It talks about Four Loves. Obviously. Affection, Friendship, Eros and Charity; and humans tendencies, vice and virtue, in regards to them. The entire book was thought provoking, but I'll focus on a few things.

"Nature never taught me that there exists a God of glory and of infinite majesty. I had to learn that in other ways. But nature gave the word glory a meaning for me. I still do not know where else I could have found one. I do not see how the 'fear' of God could have ever meant anything but the lowest prudential efforts to be safe, if I had never seen certain ominous ravines and unapproachable crags., And if nature had never awakened certain longings in me, huge areas of what I can now mean by the 'love' of God would never, so far as I can see, have existed."

Don't know about you, but I'd be the first to say "Nature is where I meet with God." Which to a degree is true, but in a different capacity. Being in nature, in all its elements, provides me with an image of the attributes of the invisible God.  It gives me tangible evidences of God's character. So, yes, when i retreat to nature, i am going to get a snapshot to help me understand the character of God! I wonder if that's why God created the heavens and the earth before he created humans? If we had nothing of material essence to help us understand this immaterial God, how could we know his character and in return love him?

Last thought.

"What is near Him by likeness is never, by that fact alone, going to be any nearer. But nearness by approach is, by definition, increasing nearness."

I am created in the image of God. A daughter of his and therefore share a nearness to him simply because i was created in his likeness. However, when i approach the God of heaven and earth-- daily, momentarily, unceasingly-- i come near to Him increasingly. The nearer I draw to him to more closely i am to resemble Him. The closer i am to him, the more i love him. The more i love him, the more i live like he did. The more i live like he did, the more people will see a difference. 

"Our imitation of God in this life... must be an imitation of God incarnate: our model is Jesus, not only of Calvary, but of the workshop, the roads, the crowds, the clamorous demands, and surly oppositions, the lack of all peace ad privacy, the interruptions. For this, so strangely unlike anything we can attribute to the Divine life in itself, is apparently not only like, but is the Divine life operating under human conditions."

Sarah Potts: wants to look like Jesus. 

Jesus: "arr this be pleasin' to me eye". 

: )

The Slow Life

I’ve recently found that living the slow life is more complicated than I planned for. In the midst of folks living out the fast life, it is seemingly more stressful to slow down than it is to simply keep up. I’m finding out what a master I’ve become of the fast life, and that it’s the slow life I need help with.
With the turning of my tassel came also a new page in life. Obviously. A season I set aside, to look forward at the future, while soaking in the rest of “just being” for a while. I graduated significantly tired and sadly slothful. Overworked. Overloaded. And overlooked. I’ve needed a break. From school. From work. From life. Just for a little bit. To tend to the things I’ve left hanging for a while. To enjoy a cup of coffee on the porch without having to rush off to class. To sit and read a book without the knock of duty at my door. To not shower for a day, sit in old work out clothes, and not have to worry about who I’ll see or how I look walking into the café. However, though I came into this summer, intentionally planning not to work, and with no studies to study, forcing myself to relax, I’m four weeks in and tired of the rest.
A little “stir crazy” if you will. In the company of friends and family going about life at normal, hyper speed, I’m finding my efforts less than impressive and lazy at best. “What did you do today?” “Well, I slept in. Made some tea. Facebooked for a while. Real booked for a little while. Went for a run and then started dinner.” For an outsider it sounds like a rather restful, enjoyable day. And as an insider it was such, up until week two. I was rather fine moseying around the house doing practically nothing. But now guilt has set in and I’m scrounging around for something—anything—to do. This slow pace isn’t good for me. And the efforts to be good at it make it less enjoyable.
Now don’t get me wrong. I like slow. I enjoy waking up to lunch hunger pangs. The noon sun, beating in my window, waking me up is delightful (though often hot). I enjoy a cup of coffee on the swing to start a day with no plans. And I like looking at the clock at 2:30 only to notice I’m still in my PJ’s and have no clean clothes to change into. I can live with those things.
But not every day.
I need something to put my hand to. I’m so used to working toward something. This inactivity is driving me mad! (not literally... at least not yet). But what I am concluding is this... slowing down while everyone else is keeping pace isn’t working out so hot. And while I’m attempting to refresh and restock, I’m slowly becoming guilt’s prey and I think she’s winning.

I'm enjoying my first cup of college-graduate tea, and it's a little bittersweet!
I graduated this weekend. Four years went by quick. Really quick! Finished up my job yesterday. Packed up my room. Loaded my truck. Left Biola for the last time. Hugged my roommate goodbye. And drove home. It was a sad drive. I think it took me longer to get home that ever. There wasn't traffic, i was just taking my time. (Though im sure the full bed didn't help much)
So i sit at the spring of summer needing rest. Excited about a quite, slow summer. Time to reconnect with my family and friends. Yet I'm anxious about what is to come this fall. So many options... so many hopes! Yearning adventure...
But we shall see!
Right now... im just looking forward to my laundry being done so i can wear some clean clothes. And a possible nap this afternoon! So until later...

cheers!

I have heard your stories...

I've heard your stories. Seen where you live. Where you work. The men who hurt you. The people who've sold and bought you. The price tag you are given. I've seen your faces and your eyes have captured me. You story has captivated me. With righteous anger and compassion. I hate the men who hurt you. For you are beautiful daughter a of the King. You are worthy of love... not empty touch and passion. You are worthy of attention... not just as a product. You should be playing on a playground... not in the beds of rich men. You should be learning literature, not picking up a gun and raping other children. You should be honored for your work, paid rightly for you hard work... not enslaved to indebtedness and fear. Freedom... not bondage. Space to live, not chains of fear!
The God of Heaven and Earth looks down with wrath. He hates sin. He is coming back. To restore things. He died, rose again in victory and is returning to restore all things to the way he intended them! One day, he will come and make things new. He will bring judgment and freedom. He promised he would.
Jesus, may your kingdom come here, to earth, as it is in heaven. Use me as an agent in the advancement of it.
Until you give me specifics... increase my longing for heaven. For the day when i will stand eye to eye with you, my King... and enter the joy of my Lord for eternity!
What a beautiful day!

Come!

I spent a few days in wonder.
In awe of Beauty.
In the center of the face of Glory.
The face of the Beautiful One.
The One who creates.
Who designs.
Who breathes the clouds.
Who paints the colors.
Who stacks the layers.
Places the steps.
Directs the flows.
Shines the sun.
Pours down the rain.
The snow.
The delight and awe.
I spent a few days in the valley. Surrounded by mighty walls, painted with mystery. I gazed upon landscapes too beautiful to capture with words. Stood above the rush of powerful waters and looked down as they crashed below. I walked as the rain poured, as the sun shone, and as the clouds lingered. And beauty surrounded me. The beauty of a wonderful, beautiful Creator. One who delights to create beauty, that would hold man accountable to his Lordship, and awe at. Beauty that was created to be looked at, maybe even purely for the delight and joy it brings. Whatever its purpose... it directed my heart to Christ. Of which all things were created. He is beautiful. And his creation is only a mere fraction of his weightiness ...a slight inkling of his splendor and glory. Of his creativity, and intricacy. One day i will stand before him. Face to face. How i long for that day! That i would see my creator, look him in the eye. Behold his beauty... and count everything else as rubbish in comparison! To that end... Come Lord Jesus Come!

New Blog Coming Soon.

Oh yes... so i've decided to start my travel journalism dream now.
So... more to come. However, start getting excited now, awesomeness is coming.

What a Good King!

There was this boy. Puzzled and perplexed. Life had hit him hard. Marred and angry. Wounded deeply by loved ones. Trampled ruthlessly by the pains of life. Thrashed by his great enemy and left for ruin. Bruised. Beaten. Yet still strong enough for one more search. So he went looking, to the furthest place he could manage. Not running away from life, but simply retreating to find rest.
To a small town he traveled, nestled between mountains. Not spectacular mountains. Rather, a simple place, not well known, nor with much to offer him. Except an escape and a chance to retreat. Retreat is what he did.
There he joined the King’s family for a while. A simple family. In a simple house. Marked by an imperfect, yet deep love for one another. They had a joy that was different. It was simple, and real. They laughed and enjoyed life, even in the midst of their own pain. Though children of the King, they experienced some of the same trials this boy had. But what was the difference, he thought?
They spoke of this King. Highly. About his work in the town, and all the merciful acts he had shown the family. The grace he had extended without reproach. The kindness he had shown in provisions. And goodness and power he had shown even when life in the land was hard. Even for the King’s family. This boy saw a difference.
Still scarred—remnants of the deep pain life had ushered him—he started asking questions. Walking with the King’s men. Sitting at their feet and asking questions. Humble, honest, soul deep, life directing questions. Their words were surprising simple. Void of confusing jargon, and twisted manipulation, and haughty say-so. They made sense, and pierced through the haze of confusion and anger. These Words came from the King himself. Spoken to these men. Studied and applied, as the King delights in. Not words from a simple man, but from the King himself. A powerful, and mighty, yet real and simple King. To know. To serve. To love. The King a simple boy could follow.
Sitting on the roadside one day, he decided to do just that. Not in a fancy display of emotion, but a simple soul deep decision. Not knowing entirely what that held for him, he knew that the King was the only one who could give meaning. Purpose. Healing. His questions are still plenty. His heart is still scarred with hurt. His life still being hammered by hardship. But he has chosen to follow the King, and to be apart of the King’s family, one he now knows is a lot larger than before. In time, answers will come. Healing will happen. However, this simple, deeply powerful, decision has changed the course of this boys life, now. What a good King!

Crooks and Crannies

"The only way we can be of use to God is to let Him take us through the crooks and crannies of our own character."

"We have to get ride of the idea that we understand ourselves, it is the last conceit to go. The only One Who understands us is God. The greatest curse in spiritual life is conceit. If we have ever had a glimpse of what we are like in the sight of God, we shall never say-- "Oh i am so unworthy," because we shall know we are, beyond the possibility of stating it. As long as we are not quite sure that we are unworthy, God will keep narrowing us in until he gets us alone. Wherever there is any element of pride or of conceit Jesus cannot expound a thing. he will take us through the disappointment of a wounded pride of intellect, through disappointment of heart. He will reveal inordinate affections-- things over which we never though he would have to get us alone. We listen to many things in classes, but they are not an exposition to us yet. They will be when God gets us alone over them."

Ouch. That will shave off a chunk of pride. It's in those moments of "clarity" when i start to see myself as i really am, that the Lord steps in and shows me otherwise. Often compliments a good dose of disappointment.
He, above anyone, knows me. Intimately and perfectly. In breaking down my pride, and showing me who i am in the light of HIS glory, i am left alone. Alone before my creator and sustainer. That's where the fun begins. Once he's stripped me of comfort, and the false sense of knowing who i am, and the comfort i've found in that, he is gentle and gracious to show me the soot and cobwebs hidden between the neatly stacked idols and "inordinate affections" i've masterfully arranged. I thought i had dealt with this already. A few times before i'm sure. My pride. I thought i killed this one. Or at least masked it well enough to pass for something less repulsive. Nope. He's found it. Well maybe revealed it is a better description... it's not like i can hide it from Him anyway.
Who am i that he would first even care to show me, gently, the ways of my pride, and two, even desire me to do his work knowing such. Christ knows me. Alone before him. Stripped bare, he knows me. The raw and real... the beautiful parts of my character and especially the offensive part of it. It amazes me that knowing all that, he loves me and has a plan for me. To use me as a tool in the advancement of His kingdom. It's amazing. It leads me to the foot of the Cross. Where my King died for my pride. Where he took on His Father's wrath, which my pride caused, in rightful my place.
It's too amazing for words.

It's Happenin'.

Life that is.
I was having some quiet time yesterday and i realized just how much is going on right now! Truly. Big, life changing things are going down all around me. Friends are getting married, engaged, prego. Sister's having a baby. 21 unit SPring Semester and graduation looms. Summer weddings are creeping up... summer plans are forming. Job applications being sent out. Man... so much is going on!!
Today i mailed off my first job application. Yikes... talk about reality setting in! It's for the Dream Foundation... hoping that one day i could say i "Facilitate Dreams". How awesome would that be!! We'll see where that one takes me... possibly to Santa Barbara! That would be a nicer change in location!
But before that... im sort of planning my summer. So check it out... May 23rd i graduate. Yeah... i'm not going to get into that one. But then June 5th my friend is getting married. In Montana. So im headed out there for that! Which is SUPER exciting. So here's my somewhat plan... buy a jeep. Road-trip to Montana( hopefully with someone... no fun by myself). Celebrate and enjoy time with my sista. And then when she peaces out to enjoy honeymoon bliss... i'll head up to Banff. Rocky mountain/Canadian, single life bliss! : ) Stay there for a few days and then make my way back to california... to start prepin' for Sista Wedding Numero Dos. Where i'll start all over again... minus the road trip and Canadian Bliss.
Then... i guess if my jeep makes it... ill drive it somewhere awesome and climb a mountain or something.