Crooks and Crannies

"The only way we can be of use to God is to let Him take us through the crooks and crannies of our own character."

"We have to get ride of the idea that we understand ourselves, it is the last conceit to go. The only One Who understands us is God. The greatest curse in spiritual life is conceit. If we have ever had a glimpse of what we are like in the sight of God, we shall never say-- "Oh i am so unworthy," because we shall know we are, beyond the possibility of stating it. As long as we are not quite sure that we are unworthy, God will keep narrowing us in until he gets us alone. Wherever there is any element of pride or of conceit Jesus cannot expound a thing. he will take us through the disappointment of a wounded pride of intellect, through disappointment of heart. He will reveal inordinate affections-- things over which we never though he would have to get us alone. We listen to many things in classes, but they are not an exposition to us yet. They will be when God gets us alone over them."

Ouch. That will shave off a chunk of pride. It's in those moments of "clarity" when i start to see myself as i really am, that the Lord steps in and shows me otherwise. Often compliments a good dose of disappointment.
He, above anyone, knows me. Intimately and perfectly. In breaking down my pride, and showing me who i am in the light of HIS glory, i am left alone. Alone before my creator and sustainer. That's where the fun begins. Once he's stripped me of comfort, and the false sense of knowing who i am, and the comfort i've found in that, he is gentle and gracious to show me the soot and cobwebs hidden between the neatly stacked idols and "inordinate affections" i've masterfully arranged. I thought i had dealt with this already. A few times before i'm sure. My pride. I thought i killed this one. Or at least masked it well enough to pass for something less repulsive. Nope. He's found it. Well maybe revealed it is a better description... it's not like i can hide it from Him anyway.
Who am i that he would first even care to show me, gently, the ways of my pride, and two, even desire me to do his work knowing such. Christ knows me. Alone before him. Stripped bare, he knows me. The raw and real... the beautiful parts of my character and especially the offensive part of it. It amazes me that knowing all that, he loves me and has a plan for me. To use me as a tool in the advancement of His kingdom. It's amazing. It leads me to the foot of the Cross. Where my King died for my pride. Where he took on His Father's wrath, which my pride caused, in rightful my place.
It's too amazing for words.