The Voice of God

Hearing, and recognizing the voice of God is hard for me. I am not good at being quiet, and therefore my life, more often than not, is filled with noise. People, computers, music, running, busyness, studying... you name it. You can ask the people closest to me... i hate to be still. Even when i was young i would wake up early, get all ready and just wait for something to do. This "noise" has muffled the voice of God in my life.
So here i am in Colorado. 13 miles off the highway on a dirt road... nestled in a valley surrounded by mountain peaks. It's very quiet up here. So quiet that the deer don't even run away when i run past them on the road!! But, surprisingly, I'm enjoying it!! I knew i needed it... and now I'm soaking it all in. It amazing how once you remove the noise, intentionally, how quickly you begin to hear the Lord.
So the Lord is speaking. In powerful ways, showing me the things that he desires for me. One nite as i was praying, he gave me a vision. The vision was me standing in the midst of all the people i love the most. All of my relationships. And he started to pull me away from them. To where i was standing as if in space, looking down at a world, filled with all the people i loved. And he asked me, "Sarah, would you still worship me if i took all of those relationships, all of those people, away from you? Would i still be enough for you?" WOW! Here i was praying for people, that they would find intimacy with the Lord, and he goes on to ask me to give them up. WHAT? I laid there... scared. I heard the voice of the Lord clearly. But how would i answer that question? With all of my heart i desire to be able to say, hands down, that i would give them all up for the Lord... but it would be so hard. Some of them easier than others, but my family for instance, i don't know, in the depth of my heart, what i would do if he asked me to give them up. So i asked him "Lord, but why?" And he was gentle to say, "Sarah, i am not asking you to give them up, but i am asking you to love and cherish me, alone, enough that all of those people could be taken away from you and you would still worship and adore me."
The Lord is speaking to me... clearly, about specific things. He is preparing me for his work. And that includes showing me, gently, that he desires that i come to the place where i would drop my net, leave my dead to bury the dead, and follow hard after him. That i would count it all a loss to follow and know him. It's a hard calling, but i desire to be used for kingdom purposes... and that means dying to myself that Christ might live in me, completely.